Laura Béres (2018) How travel might become more like spiritual pilgrimage: An autoethnographic study, Journal for the Study of Spirituality, 8:2, 160-172, DOI: 10.1080/20440243.2018.1523048
There is evidence epigenetic changes are transmitted from parent to child during conception and pregnancy. Leading into the concept of inheritance. How the events of our lives could affect the development of our own children. Alongside this is how we have been impacted by our ancestors and their life experiences.
What we experience in our lifetime can modify our DNA, and its these changes that can be passed down through generations. It is epigenetics that facilitates this transfer/influence between generations, what can be referred to as ‘transgenerational’. Through the generations.
Epigenetics is defined as:
the study of changes in organisms caused by modification of gene expression rather than alteration of the genetic code itself.
Our DNA is our unique song. The genome, the double helix DNA code unique to us. This ‘song’ remains constant.
Our epigenome (which sits in your cells with your genome) is
a set of instructions that decides which bits of your DNA are activated, or
which genes are switched on or off. We
have many epigenomes as every different type of cell in the body has its own
epigenome. These ‘audio engineers’ are
fluid, changing as we develop. They
impact upon our cells, how they function and our health overall.
“genes are the unique song of you,
but epigenomes decide how that music is played over generations”
I came across this interesting article on SBS which shares of the scientific theory behind this experience. Known as contextual-binding theory.
It is well established that learning in the brain happens by a process of association. If A and B occur together, they become associated. Contextual-binding theory goes a step further: A and B are associated not just with one other, but also with the context in which they occurred.
What is context? It’s not just your physical location – it’s a mental state that also comprises the thoughts, emotions, and other mental activity you’re experiencing at a given moment.
Adam Osth Senior Lecturer, University of Melbourne
Looking at photos of past family members triggers moments of past family experience. The article goes on to share that our brain is like a google search engine. The clearer you are in what you are searching for the better results will be retrieved, same with your memory.
Every time I travel back to Melbourne this mass of emotions, feelings and memories come flooding back. Whilst I have fond memories of Melbourne, actually being there amplifies my experience and deepens the feelings.
Musings on the totality of experience ancestral, spiritual and physical
As I have
mentioned before I am not a scientist, nor have any bent towards this
field. And there is this incessant
preference in the world for things to be validated or proved before they can be
accepted as being ‘real’ or ‘true’. This
way has been in direct contrast to what my own internal knowing is. I don’t need to gather scientific evidence to
be in awe of the land, to feel love and the connectedness to the Planet. My own personal experience is all I need.
This conflict between the world I was presented with as a child and the one I
intrinsically knew is one I have lived with for many years. My own inner knowing of who I am and my
alignment to living a spiritually centered life doesn’t operate in
absolutes. The more I journeyed along
the spiritual path the more I realized how foreign my family was to me. I didn’t belong here. Disorienting.
I have become very astute at gauging in conversation if others are of
the same ‘bent’, and if not learning how to keep me safe.
I am not
interested in defending who I am or even in converting other. Its for all to be respected. Finding other who embraces a spiritual
centered life is rare and a kindred spirit is a gift. Out of self preservation I have kept me close
within. I learned early on in my
childhood that who I was intrinsically didn’t fit into the family way. Attempts to express myself resulted in being ostracized
and misunderstood. As out of a misguided
love lens they molded me into someone who fitted what they were and
needed. I learned to tow the line in
order to feel safe and loved.
Now over 40 years
on, its taking heaps loud of courage to begin to speak and share of me to a
wider audience. Ironically it is the
voice of spirit deep within that provided the nudge. I spent many years ignoring her delicate
nudges to be who I am, to express me and my gifts so much to the point that she
is now like a tsunami bearing down on me that can no longer be ignored. Its like that. Love has many ways. Ignore long enough and
you will be placed in a situation where you must act.
Spirituality is
not religion. Often the two get
intertwined.
A spiritual life
is one embraced with the knowing that we are more than our physical body.
It’s experiencing an interconnectedness with all that is. It’s knowing in essence, we are eternal, there is a life force within us that will continue beyond this embodiment. That there is an indwelling soul who seeks life experiences to learn, to grow, to heal and integrate for its own evolutionary growth. From this perspective everything that happens in our life, is not so much ‘to’ us but ‘for’ us. We draw towards us the experience that will assist us to grow and heal. It’s about taking our life in and transforming it into love. Nothing is by chance. It’s not about being punished. It’s about being given an opportunity to become more of who we truly are.
Ones perspective
on life becomes larger. Our lens
expanded and clearer.
We realize the
potential in every moment.
There is a
constant reflection for us.
However, when
science does catch up with the spiritual way imagine my hearts delight!
This chance
occurrence happened for me when I came across epigenetics and transgenerational
trauma. My heart skipped a beat. Here was a spiritual concept being proven
through science. That who I am here and now
is the result of what has come before me.
This life time is not in isolation.
Its connected. That what I am experiencing
in this life is not random but an opportunity to heal residue trauma. Its about becoming aware of the influence
your genetics can have yet not being solely defined by it. Its about hope of healing the pain you feel,
transmuting it and in doing so have a positive healing impact on your life and
for those to come after you. That the
way I defaulted to deal with the loss and pain associated with divorce and
grief was to some degree encoded within my genetics. That the women who came before me have shaped
who I am today. Any unresolved trauma
lies in wait in our genes and can be activated down the line waiting to be
addressed. And that perhaps whilst I
inherited a predisposition to deal with life in a particular way, they also
have a story to share and that there is a power within that story. A story that provides me with insight as to
how they overcame personal challenges, it provides me with hope that I too can
overcome and that their strength and resilience runs through me.
In learning of
their story, I begin to see a correlation.
I realize I am not alone. That
these women who came before me are imparting wisdom too.
Its appreciating
the totality of who I am and choosing what parts to continue and what needs to
be transmuted and let go off here and know.
Its recognizing that my soul seeks this integration. Its relating with the past in a healthy way
and no longer being defined by it.
Hope lies in our
ability to know we are always more then our current experience. That change is the one constant and that
whilst change is scary it is change that frees us.
Whilst many may
not see it that way, my heart knew. I
felt enraptured and full of hope that what I had felt and experience through
some of my darkest moments did have some evidence to support it. That I wasn’t just going mad but perhaps,
just perhaps my deepest personal challenges was not just ‘me ‘ into but that
there was a link a connection to all the women before me.
Hope where there
was none.
Quite often in my
darkest moments, when all hope was lost and I found myself on the bathroom
floor curled up in a fetal position on the cold tiles there was something
deeper in, beyond the human pain. It was
reaching it that was the challenge. Yet
always it was there. I just had to ride out the human anguish and suffering
long enough for her to be heard.
Who was she
though? Where did this voice come from?
The one that said “you will be okay”, the one that ethereally brushed my
brow and told me to slowly get up.
Where did this
nudge come from?
It was as if a
collective force scooped me up and help me to land on my feet. ‘they’ encouraged me to take one step, then
another, then another.
There was a connection deep out of sight that I felt but could not explain. And that is okay. A connection that healed, loved and supported.
Ancestry.com provided me with a sense of belonging at a time in my life within which this was missing. Recently divorced, my adult kids transitioning into adulthood, my identity smashed; what I belonged to, my family, home and roles as a wife and mum were gone.
In a massive process of re-identification – who and what I identified as was required. Often painful and disorienting the need to belong became paramount. Through belonging I could begin to anchor my roots, connect, docking station – slowly begin to anchor to spread my roots in the newly turned soil.
Belonging is a basic human need. Only through its absence did I experience this. But what and who do we belong to? Ultimately we reach a point where the truest sense of belonging is to oneself. Deep within we belong to our core, our centre, our conduit as spirit. Until such time that sense of belonging to external may be necessary.
For me tracking back through my ancestral lineage provided a belonging not only to people but place.
This sense of place, belonging to, I soon realised was important for me. To be connected to land and place through time became a stepping stone for my true connection to self. To become aware of sensations of Googling place of continents far away over oceans to lands not seen, showed me the eternal aspect of self. Some places were so familiar I could smell the air and feel the earth under my feet from sitting at my desk. Names of places such as Dunkeld, Perth… suddenly I was transported to other times. The familiarity soothing, a reminder of previous life times. ‘I’ as spirit had traversed these lands. I belong ‘there’ and I do ‘here’, all co-existing simultaneously.
So gently through researching I came to know that I indeed belong to many places, through experiences and that the imprint of experience is carried within. I belong where I am.
Ancestral searching for me played a key role in re-identification, providing a sense of belonging to place and ultimately self.
My ancestral search quest began back in 1995 not long after my first child was born. Yet it wasn’t until 20 years later that it was really given space and time. Recently divorced, I was longing for connection. All of my relationships were altering, I was lost and felt completely disconnected. The searching process of my ancestors gave me a connection. A point from which I realised I am one within many. Whilst I felt alone, I too have come from somewhere and in that slowly redefined what true connection is.
One curious element sprang forth in amongst hours and hours and hours of ancestry research. Why was it that certain family members, many two or three generations back seemed so familiar? How is that they literally jump out from ancestry.com into my life with such a force that I became almost obsesses with them and their life journey? Where did the tears come from within me as I read their personal challenges? Why do some have this huge red flag waving at me whilst others are simply names on a page, foreign and always will be? No heart pull, simply silence. Why did some places from lands far away feel like home? What was the pull I felt to travel to the other side of the Planet? Intriguing.
The deeper into my generational research, the further back in time I travelled themes of life experiences began to emerge. I began to put together the pieces of my puzzle.
I was most intrigued about the repetition of personal challenges and how these similarities connected one generation to the next. One after the other my grandmothers, great grand mothers, great-great grandmothers and even three generations back revealed their stories of loss and pain.
my maternal nan, Frances Ivy
The one common thread was their experience of having to start life anew following the deep personal loss of their husband (or other significant male) either through death or divorce.
In reading their stories I felt a kinship a connection. I felt my own. What was it I could learn from them in overcoming my own personal challenge? How did they go on? What did they do? What qualities did they engender that I could access in the here and now? I realised I wasn’t alone in my grief, the women before could show me a way. No longer were many of them names on pages but real women demonstrating courage and resilience.
I also became curious from a soul perspective about the repetition of patterns, the imprints of the past and the potential for transgenerational healing being presented for me. Transgenerational trauma, the awareness of it, in of itself, is ripe with potential for personal insight, healing and transformation. I will write more on this later.
My experience of being compelled to visit place, strong connection to particular ancestors and my introduction into the field of transgenerational imprints and trauma have added another element to Enlightened Traveller.
By visiting place and being open to what was revealed, could I play some part in healing imprints of the past? Would this heal the wounds and enable a new path to be created?
The document gazing back at me from my laptop oozed a strong sense of service and purpose. Regal and authoritative it indoctrinated all those who put their name to it a commitment to Country, to King, to God “So help me, God”.
He had put his name to it on the 7th July 1915. His signature gave no indication of how he would’ve been feeling. Strong, large cursive dominating letters signed on the line ‘R V Kinna’. With that one signature Reuben was now enlisted at ‘His Majesty Service’ in the Australian Imperial Force. The oath dictated he would “well and truly serve … the Australian Imperial Force until the end of the war”. That wasn’t needed. In just over a year he would be dead. Killed “in the Field” on the battlefields in France.
He would’ve had no idea what was to come. Would he have wanted to? Did any of these innocent, brave young men?
That signature sentenced him to death, along with over 6,800 other young men. The statistics still to this day shock. During the seven weeks of fighting at Pozieres, France over 6,800 men were killed or died from their wounds. Three Australian divisions suffered 23,000 casualties. More than what was experienced in Gallipoli.
His death notice in ‘The Ballarat Courier’ on 23rd September 1916 simply stated “he was noted for his kindly disposition”.
Small comfort for his family.
Sources:
Australian WWI Service Records, 1914-1920 for Reuben Victor Kinna
It was during my first trip to ‘the Kimberley’s’ that I fell in love with them. Dominating the rugged and dry landscape, the boab trees commanded my attention. There was something about their bulbous shape that just made me want to hug them. This I did, more then once and with their wide girth my hands never fully surrounded the trunk. Adding to my joy and never ending sense of wonder was the uniqueness of each boab, never did two ever look the same.
Whilst the boab trees scattered the land, it was an incredibly rare sight to see a boab flower. The pods that encase and protect the seed have a soft velvet cover. They hang delicately from the branches in stark contrast to the solidness and security that the round trunk provides. Whilst I had seen images of the flowers in books and read of their healing potential and indigenous connection it was not until my next trip a few years later that I would witness a boab flower in full bloom.
During this second trip, I was moving through an incredibly difficult period with my marriage ending only a few months prior. I headed to this region as I knew the land would be very healing. It was a true gift for me to witness a boab in full bloom, it felt like an offering from the Gods. I resonated with the flower and reflected upon her process of blooming. What an incredibly amount of tension and force would be required for her to break free from the protective shell, a shell that once protected and kept her safe yet now it was limiting. As a seed within the pod, she hung unwavering throughout the rains, scorching sun, humidity and winds. Clinging to her one substance, the tree. Yet she knew she was more then the seed. Patiently she waited until it was her time to push through the shell and break free. She was still part of the tree, yet she was expressing her uniqueness and shone for those with eyes to see.
The reflection given to me was clear. I too needed to break free from the shell, to become who I could be, to bloom beyond what I knew was possible. It would take incredible effort and force; tension would be present through the breaking down of old ways. Yet it was a process already underway and one that could not be stopped.
My love and connection with the boab tree went to a whole new level throughout that trip. She is a healer for me. Some pods had dropped to the ground and opened revealing the innerness. Soft and velvet the petals still wrapped upon themselves, frozen in time. Yet those that bloom are exquisite to behold, the large fragrant flower with its fleshy white to cream petals commands your attention. Its numerous stamens shoot upwards towards the sky.
It’s a powerful healer as a flower essence as it can assist in the breaking of strong, deeply ingrained negative family patterns. Resulting in deep personal transformation, it is a profound healer working initially on the spiritual level, and then working its way down through the emotional and mental bodies.
If you are finding it difficult to break free from limiting and/or repetitive patterns, behaviours and mental mindsets perhaps consider the boab essence?
The Doctrine of Signatures is interesting in so much that you will often seen groups or clusters of boab trees. Like a family quite often becoming enmeshed in one another, the boab essence addresses this restriction.
Personally the boab flower essence is the one constant on my bedside table. Its incredibly powerful and supportive through the personal transformation processes. Sometimes ‘the ties that bind’ also restrict and prevent your growth.
The boab provides the strength needed to release the old way and enable more of your true spirit self to anchor.
It was through reading Ian White’s ‘Bush Flower Healing’ that I became aware of the connection the Indigenous communities have with the boab. The traditional birthing practice in these local communities involved the use of the boab flowers. If they were in season, the woman would dig a hole and line it with boab flowers. The woman in labour would then squat over the hole and deliver the baby into the cradle of flowers. As the baby was birthed its first contact was with the boab flower, a cleansing of family patterns. Truly wonderful.
I do have a love affair/obsession with boab trees, even to this day 7 years on from my first encounter images of them adorn my study. I make no excuses for this strong connection with this tree that I feel.
A true gift that when prepared as an essence enables us to step fully into who we can become.
